“I have set before you life and death, blessing and cursing; therefore choose life, that both you and your descendants may live; that you may love the Lord your God, that you may obey His voice, and that you may cling to Him, for He is your life and the length of your days”
-Deuteronomy 30:19
Its been a few days since I’ve written…plenty has happened since my last post about the MRI. It seems the roller coaster just keeps going…um, can someone stop this ride? Please?
There was a big meeting yesterday to discuss Nitalia’s condition and her future treatment. There we were waiting for the neuro-oncologists and neurologists to come to us with some life altering recommendations. What arrived were more uncertain suggestions that come with additional risks. Don’t get me wrong, we know there is zero malice in their suggestions. They love Nitalia and want to cure her, they just don’t know how. So today we start a new “test” drug, in addition to all the others she is on.
The fact is nothing in life is black and white. Most people get through life like a feather through the breeze, content with just floating by. But for some, life picks you up and gives you a Piledriver! You can’t make arrangements, map, organize, outline, or prepare for it. The rain just comes…and it seems you cant get dry. All of the sudden you are a stranger in your own life, counting blessings that you wished you never needed. Life as we know it is a just a facade…period. I am not being bitter, nor am I trying to steal anyone’s hope. The fact is: the presumption that we “have life under control” is just a distorted, misshapen, knock kneed deception we create in our minds (ok, that sounds bitter, sorry). I had never really thought much about the great mysteries of life. I guess I figured that whoever decided they were mysteries must have known what they were talking about…now I ponder them by the minute.
Yesterday our lead doctor said to us: “The more we know, the less we understand“. She was speaking to the fact that the more they explore the human brain and its functions, the more they realize they know little of its abounding depth. Sue always tells them: “Only the One who created it, understands it“, and I think shes right. It seems to me the more intelligent you believe you are the further from wisdom you get. Wisdom comes from God, intelligence comes from books. All this time I have been trying to figure out how to beat this evil opposer in our daughter by immersing myself in scientific facts. Those weapons do not carry weight in this battle. It has taken me almost two years to understand that this is a battle beyond even the smartest scientist, doctor, surgeon, or dad. God is the ONLY way to win, and the bible is the “how to” manual. We just have to let go of what we think we know…place her in God’s hands and pray for His will. We know deep in our souls His will is to heal her.
Please Father have Mercy…
Sending all our love…
The Love Of Sisters!
It’s midnight here and we just got settled back in our room…So Im gonna keep this one brief. Nitalia continues to fight like a Gladiator beating back the enemy with each breath. We are so very proud of our girl! Sue and I continue to pray and believe that her day of miracle is right around the corner.
Tonight Nitalia had another MRI…this one in conjunction with the protocol trial she is on. Sue went into the room with her (as she always does), the girls and I sat in the waiting area.
Now we pray and wait for the news of clean scans…
We speak this blessing and believe that this is Gods will…He wants all of his children to be well. Jesus tells us it is “the thief” who comes to steal our health. Jesus says: “I come that you might have life, and that you might have it more abundantly” (John 10:10).
As usual she blew everyone away…All the woman down there in MRI know Nitalia, a sea of purple bracelets can be seen as the nurses stream by. They even have her bracelet taped to the wall in the MRI room!!! She touches the heart of EVERYONE she meets! I cant even explain how her love just spreads through the hospital. Just think about this: Nitalia has not spoken to anyone in 22 days, yet EVERYONE in this hospital knows her! Just wait until she starts talking!
She continues to respond to the Dr.’s, squeezing their hands and wiggling her toes. She actually waved goodbye to Aviona and Isabella tonight! It is a breathtaking event to watch her sisters climb up into that bed and hug her, telling her “Nitalia, it’s a good day to open your eyes!“. My heart just falls apart…
We have a good friend here that is surely sent by God to minister to us. David comes up and prays with us often. His prayers are beautiful, deep, and honest. I respect his knowledge of The Word and the humble view of his perspective. I had brought up the question “why this is happening to us?” the other day and he directed me to the Book of Job. So I read it and here is what I learned:
The Lords Sovereign purposes are much more profound then our tiny human understanding.
While we are on this earth we will never understand the “why?”, but we will not blame nor will we rebuke our Lord and Savior for this trial. What we will do is call his name, ask for his blessing, and believe that he is right here with Nitalia. We refuse to allow “the thief” to steal from our family!
(throw your hands up in the air) All Glory Is Yours Lord! Hallelujah!!
So much for being brief:)
Sending all our love…
UPDATE: We got great news this morning…The scans showed “stable disease”!!! This is a HUGE blessing. Now that it is in check, we need to hit it hard and beat it back to where it came from! Thank You Lord!! Please, Please, Please keep up the prayers. Praise God!!!
“For the word of God is quick, and powerful, and sharper than any twoedged sword, piercing even to the dividing asunder of soul and spirit, and of the joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart.”
-Hebrews 4:12
Watching and waiting, praying and believing. She will just stand up and praise God for the Miracle He has placed upon her. All greatness comes direct from God… There is no greater power then His, there is no stronger army then His army of Heavenly Angels. Over the last year and a half we have watched a little girl become a gladiator. She is a GLADIATOR by its very definition:
glad·i·a·tor:
* a person, often a slave or captive, who was armed with a sword or other weapon and compelled to fight a battle in front of an audience.
She is fighting an epic battle in front of the world. Instead of Sword & Sandals, her weapons are God & Love. Together with all of us watching, she steps into the Colosseum and shows us all what it means to truly be great. We all applaud her courage and strength. If we could we would throw roses at her feet as they did in Roman times for the victorious gladiator. Sue and I know that her every breath is a testament to her faith. Nitalia REFUSES to allow her enemy to overtake her. We see it in every breath, every hand squeeze, and every low whisper that escapes her mouth. She continues to fight.
Last night her heart rate and respiratory began to steadily rise. Sue climbed into bed with her and began to whisper prayers into her ear. Holding her hand and filling her with warmth and love as only a mother can, we began to see her vital signs come down into the safe range. All of the sudden Nitalia started murmuring to Sue. Oh My…Thank you Jesus! Sue started murmuring back to her and that started a conversation that lasted all night. What they were saying, Ill never know…but I do believe I heard a “I Love Daddy the Most” in there somewhere! LOL!!!
Anyhow, She continued to speak in that low murmur, giggling and laughing at Sues silliness. She was moving her arms and legs, trying to get comfortable. When the Dr. came in Nitalia performed like she was on stage! She whispered words, followed the Dr. directions and even laughed for her. The Dr. said she is a DIVA today! We are so proud of her!
God is with our gladiator all the way…WE WILL WALK WITH HER AS SHE EXITS HER COLOSSEUM, AND WALKS THROUGH THE GATE OF LIFE!
** The Gate of Life – East Exit: The eastern exit gate of the Roman colosseum. It had direct access to the arena which was entered via the gate known as the Gate of Life (Porta Sanavivaria) for the procession of gladiators who paraded before the Emperor and the spectators prior to the beginning of the “games” and exited after a successful combat.
"Standing in the Colosseum, 2009 Rome, Italy"
Sending all our love…